


you've been asleep while I've been in hell

by alittleunstable



Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-14 10:19:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14767736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alittleunstable/pseuds/alittleunstable
Summary: Peter Parker's never had the best luck. Or particularly effective coping mechanisms.Or, Peter is trying his best after the war, he thinks he might actually be doing okay, until Aunt May invites her old school friend to stay with them again.





	1. I stand in the corner, like a tired boxer

**Author's Note:**

> So um I changed the Canon a little bit to fit with this story.
> 
> Title is from i said hi by Amy shark 
> 
> Also this is based on personal experience but it's a little different because Peter and I probably wouldn't cope the exact same way anyway this is angsty as shit I'm sorry
> 
> Also it's gonna have a second chapter cause I hate hurt no comfort tbh don't worry it'll be okay in the end

Peter hauls his backpack back up on his shoulder from where it has slid to his elbow, holding a crumpled piece of paper and his keys in his other hand.

It’s been a long day and honestly, he’s pretty much ready for bed, he doesn’t even have the energy to patrol tonight. First, he’d had to bail on MJ for decathlon practice, which will definitely bite him in the ass next time he sees her, and then the stark internship. The very real, very new internship that Tony had offered Peter not even a month ago, that seemed like a really good idea at the time, and truthfully was, except Peter had barely any free time left and he was always tired.

That was okay though, because spending time with Tony, learning from Tony? It was worth all of that and more. The only time he ever wanted to leave the tower was that one time Tony called his name and Peter had replied with, “Yeah, Dad?”. The ensuing awkward silence was cringeworthy.

So today had been an internship day, and Peter’s wholeheartedly planning on turning himself into a blanket burrito and taking the world’s most satisfying nap when his spidey sense goes nuts and he realises the door is slightly ajar.

Peter falters in his step, eyes wide, before rushing the rest of the way and curling his hand around the door, barely even registering the sound of May’s tinkling laughter and a familiar male laugh that makes him feel queasy.

“Aunt May?” Peter calls out cautiously, “The door is open.”

“I must have gotten so caught up I didn’t realise! We’re in here, honey.” May calls back, sounding happier than usual, but he can’t shake the feeling that something’s wrong.His spidey sense seems to ramp up a notch as Peter shuts the door behind him and moves towards the living room.

“Who’s...” Peters mouth dries out and his stomach clenches and he wants to run, every part of him is screaming to run, but all he can do is stare, horror struck at Skip Westcott’s toothy grin. The man hasn’t aged much, other than some fine lines around his mouth and eyes, blonde hair perfectly styled and blue eyes fixed on Peter far too intensely. “...we.”

“Isn’t this great, Pete?” May asks, smile wide and hand coming to rest gently on Peter’s shoulder. Peter stops himself from shrugging it off - May’s not doing this on purpose, she doesn’t know, she doesn’t...God, he’s going to be sick.

“Why is he here?” He intentionally ignores Skip, looking straight at May and fighting the urge to curl into her arms for protection. He hears Skip’s irritated humph.

“Skip’s giving a lecture at the University next week,” May’s eyebrows furrow, confusion and what could be irritation in her expression. “We were chatting on the phone and he mentioned it, so I thought it might be nice to have him come stay with us again for a while. You two used to be practically inseparable, remember Peter?” Her voice is pleading, and he knows she just wants him to be polite, that she hadn’t expected this reaction from him, and he’s making what she had hoped to be a happy reunion into something far more stressful.

So Peter gives a tight smile and nods at Skip, teeth grinding together.

Skip’s going to be staying. In the house. Again.

He wouldn’t touch Peter now, would he? No, no he wouldn’t. Peter’s head hurts from the constant hammering, his spidey sense still screaming ‘Danger!’ At him relentlessly. He probably only liked Peter when he was younger, maybe now that Peter looked closer to a man than a kid - but he didn’t, really, he was still too skinny, even though he was muscular, and he was still short, and Tony had told him he had puppy dog eyes that would rival Bambi. Peter’s chest feels too tight and the air around him is too thin as he takes the hand Skip holds out to shake, only for Skip to use his firmer grip to pull Peter in for a hug.

Peter shuts his eyes, tightly, and tries to picture what the lab had looked like today. Dum-E and U whirring about, holographs and schematics everywhere, the sofa covered in so much junk that nobody can even sit on it, and finally, Tony, reading a book instead of working. He had claimed to be teaching Peter about time management, and how it’s okay to take a break every now and then, but Peter’s pretty sure Pepper must have forced him to do it, because he didn’t seem like he was having much fun.

Skip lets him go after what feels like an eternity, and Peter releases the breath he hadn’t realised he was holding.

“It’s so good to see you again, Einstein.”

It feels like a slap in the face, yet Peter just nods his head and bites down on his lip.

Skip won’t touch him again.

...

It’s three days later and May gets called in to work for a night shift, when the three of them were meant to have dinner together, so they both know Peter doesn’t have any other plans that he can sneak away to like he has been since Skip showed up. Peter has put a lot of effort into ensuring that he and Skip are never alone, but there’s no way to get out of it this time when May tells him it’s a good idea for them to catch up, one on one, and tells Skip to look after Peter while she’s gone. It’s the same thing she said last time. Peter feels tears prick at his eyes but he waits for the front door to shut before getting up and rushing to his room, shutting the door behind him.

He won’t come in here, Peter tells himself, he won’t come here.

He has before, though. This room isn’t hallowed ground, there is no inherent safety in it, because it has happened in this room before. He knows that, but he still lies, holding himself together the best he can.

There’s knocking on the door, and then it opens. Skip is smiling, but Peter knows that look. It’s like he’s a predator stalking his prey. He hasn’t stepped over the threshold. He’s not in the room. He won’t come in here.

“Hey, Einstein,” Skip grins, and steps forward, and Peter’s spidey sense goes nuts. He’s in the room, he’s in the room - “How about we hang out, like old times? You’ve been out a lot lately and I’ve missed you. Haven’t you missed me, too?”

Peter can’t breathe. He wants to say no, he wants to tell him to get out, he wants to punch him in the face, but he’s stuck, he can’t move, he barely manages a shrug. Skip sighs and sits down on the bed beside Peter, his hand coming down to rest on his thigh, too high up to be considered just friendly. Peter’s whole body shakes like a leaf.

No, no this isn’t happening. He won’t do it again. He can’t.

“I know you’re a teenager now,” Skip says, sounding so condescending, “I know teenagers only really care about the here and now, and I haven’t been here, but I am now. I want us to be friends again, like we were before.” His hand squeezes Peter’s thigh.

He’s not ten this time. He’s not even entirely human, this time.

He knows he could fight him off but he can’t make himself move, his body stuck in the same paralysis he got the first time Skip touched him. “No...no, I don’t want that,” Peter’s voice is soft and weak, and he’s staring holes into the hand Skip has on him.

“Oh, come now,” Skip sounds amused more than anything, “You’ll like it, you know it feels good. It’s just a game, Einstein. I thought you liked games?”

He knows it’s not a game. He figured out what it really was in his first year of high school, when he overheard some older boys talking about it. He knows now, and he doesn’t want to, didn’t want to then either, but he’s scared. He can’t explain why, he doesn’t even understand it himself, he’s Spider-Man now, he could stop this-

Skip’s hand slides up and cups him through his jeans.

No, no, no, this isn’t supposed to happen he could stop this he could-

...but he couldn’t then, so he shouldn’t now.

...

May casually mentions over breakfast the next morning that Skip will be staying a bit longer, that they’d been out of touch for too long and it was just so nice to have him over. Peter bitterly thinks that she probably has a crush on him. He wants to laugh, because May isn’t his type. The pain every time Peter sits down speaks to that.

Then he feels mean for thinking something like that, and resolves to be extra nice to her for the rest of the day.

...

Two more days pass, and finally it’s an internship day again. The relief of knowing he won’t be home until super late - or maybe even not at all, it’s a Friday and Peter knows that Tony would let him stay if he asked, it just depended on if May would let him. There’s two hours between Peter getting home and May finishing work, two hours that Skip is using to is advantage every day now. Peter’s body feels dirty and used all the time, shame burning and twisting in his chest whenever he thinks about it, which is, truthfully, all the time. He wants it to stop but he’s not doing anything about it,how does that make sense?

Peter waves at Pepper through the glass wall of the conference room as he passes her. She’s on the phone, but she beams and gives a wave back at him. He smiles a little, unconsciously as he makes it to the elevator that will take him down to the lab.

“Peter, it seems that you are injured.” FRIDAY interrupts the silence in the elevator, and Peter’s smile drops, panic engulfing him. What does she know? How does she know?

“No!” He says a little too loudly, before realising how suspicious that would seem, “I mean, I’m fine. I’m not injured.”

“You have a slight limp, Peter. Is this not due to an injury?"

Peter winces, “Yeah, okay, yeah, but it’s nothing, can you just, can you not say anything to Mr. Stark?”

“I do not advise keeping secrets, but I will do as you ask this time. Enjoy your afternoon, Peter.” With that said, the elevator doors slide open and Peter scuttles out faster than an average human could.

“Hey, kid!” Tony greets from across the room, looking strangely red faced, “Can you come help me get my arm out of this? I’m kind of stuck. Well. Definitely stuck. You know what, just get over here would you?” Peter gapes at Tony’s arm, stuck elbow deep in what he assumes is a new mark, and then he can’t stop the hysterical giggle from rushing up his throat.

“I’m sorry,” Peter tries to speak through his laughter, “it’s just, how long have you been stuck like that?”

Tony gives him the most exasperated look, before admitting, “half an hour. If you keep laughing, I’m gonna call MIT back and take back what I said about you.”

...

So it goes like that, and the days move monumentally slowly, and Peter feels like he’s chest deep in freezing water all the time, but nobody else can see the water level slowly rising.

It’s been two weeks and May hasn’t mentioned Skip leaving. Peter is scared that Skip might live with them forever.

 

...

Peter goes through the motions at school, not even noticing Ned trying to get his attention until the other boy grabs his shoulder and Peter jerks away roughly, wide eyed, until he realises it’s just his friend, looking just as stunned.

“Dude...”

“Sorry, Ned, just a little on edge. I had a rough patrol last night,”

“Oh cool! Did you stop any bank robbers?”

“No, Ned.”

“Oh, ok. Well, tell me if you do, I was watching Rizzoli & Isles and there was this one episode where-“

...

He’s on his back, Skip’s crushing weight pinning him to the mattress, his hands holding his legs up when he hears the sound of the front door opening. May is home. Skip will have to stop, or maybe May will come to say hello to him and see what’s happening, but there is nothing. May walks straight past his room, probably getting something from her bedroom, and then heads back out, all while Skip’s holding a sweaty palm against Peter’s mouth to keep him from making a sound.

Nobody can help him.

...

Peter skips school on the next internship day. It doesn’t matter anyway, it’s just one day of school, and his grades are fine. They’ve dropped, a little bit, but not enough for May to notice. He sits on the highest point of the same playground he used to play at as a kid, and wonders why the fuck he can’t defend himself from one middle aged man. Why can he stop crime, when he can’t even move when Skip touches him?

It doesn’t make sense and the confusion in his head physically hurts, he doesn’t understand, he knows it wouldn’t be hard to stop him, he’s got enhanced strength, he could do it, but he always comes back to the same thing.

He couldn’t then, so he shouldn’t now.

He hears the repulsers before he sees Tony, and tries to ignore the fact that the second he heard him he felt safe again. He only feels safe if Tony’s around, these days. Tony wouldn’t ever hurt him. Not physically, anyway. If Tony ever found out about Skip, he’d ask Peter why he didn’t just fight him off. That would hurt, Peter thinks.

“Shouldn’t you be at school, Pete?” Tony asks, faceplate opening to show raised eyebrows. Peter just takes a deep breath and nods.

“Yeah. But can I just...can I just stay here until later, please? Just this once?”

Tony frowns, but after a moment of thought, comes to sit beside Peter on the top,of the tower, suit and all. “Is everything okay, kid? Is this about the whole-“ he waves his hand in the air in some roundabout gesture and makes a face “-Thanos, thing?”

Peter flinches, hard. Not because any of this is about Thanos, but because he spends so much time thinking about Skip that somehow...somehow he’d stopped thinking about Thanos at all. Something that had seemed impossible, just last month.

“No.”

“You flinched. Usually that means I’m right.”

“Yeah but...okay. Sure. It’s about him.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“Okay. I’m staying though.”

“Okay.”

...

It’s a Saturday morning when Skip holds him down against the kitchen table and touches him and hurts him and makes him cry. He makes it last longer than usual, won’t stop talking through it, saying disgusting things that make Peter want to pour bleach into his ears, and then he gets mad.

Peter hadn’t even realised it himself, but he didn’t get hard this time. No matter how much Skip tried, there was no bodily reaction. Peter doesn’t see Skip's fist coming, but his spidey sense warns him.

He wakes up on the kitchen floor, blood crusted In his hair and his pants still down.

May could’ve come home and seen him. Skip could’ve killed him. If he was a normal kid, he might’ve.

That scares Peter more than the sex stuff.

...

He’s in the backseat, and he can’t talk.

He’s in the backseat, and he always talks, never stops, if there’s one thing you couldn’t stop Peter from doing, it’s talking. But now, now Peter is afraid that if he opens his mouth, if he lets words spill out into sentences and rambling, he might not stop.

Happy keeps eyeing him in the rear view mirror, brows knitted together in confusion and what might be concern, but Peter’s not sure, Happy is hard to read.

“You’re quiet today.” Happy states, though there is no question and Peter doesn’t answer one, spoken or not. There’s a long stretch of silence, where Peter can only think of hands on his hips and hot breath on his neck and he winces, turning his gaze to the window. He chews his lips and settles in the quiet. Maybe he can’t control anything else, but if he chooses not to speak, he can control that.

...

“Hey, kid, how was school?"

“...”

“Pete?”

Peter shakes his head and watches Dum-E build a tower of blocks on the other side of the room. No more talking. He’s done.

Tony stares at him for a long time. “What’d I do to get the silent treatment?”

Peter shakes his head again, and moves over to the desk that has turned into his own, and slumps into the cushiony seat. Tony doesn’t follow him, just watches him, arms crossed and eyebrow raised.

“Okay, alright. Lordy, teenagers.” Tony sighs and rolls his eyes, though there’s still concern set heavy in his eyes as he continues his own work.

...

There’s a soft knock on his door, and then Aunt May peeks her head in, smiling gently at Peter, the same smile she uses every time she wants to talk about something to do with his mental health. He saw that smile a lot after Uncle Ben died.

“Hey, sweetheart,” She says kindly, coming to stand in the doorway, “I got a call from Tony tonight,”

She’s going to ask him why he’s mad at Tony, but he’s not. He can’t tell her that though, because that would involve talking and he’s done with that. There’s nothing he can say that will fix this, there’s just nothing to say in general. The things he used to talk about don’t matter anymore, he just doesn’t care.

Peter’s continued silence causes May to falter, frowning. “He said you wouldn’t speak to him while you were there today?”

Peter just fiddles with his watch and says nothing.

“...Peter?”

...

Ned and MJ spend most of lunch just blatantly staring at him. A teacher had called on him for the answer to a question, and he’d just stared at her until she left him alone.

“Dude, are you okay?” Ned finally asks, and Peter shrugs into the book he’s not actually reading, refusing to look up and meet his best friend’s eyes.

“This is weird, even for you.” MJ snarks, but her figure is drawn in tight and uncomfortable, and Peter doesn’t miss the way they exchange glances when they think he’s not looking.


	2. I'll be just fine don't worry 'bout me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter tries to stay afloat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i know I said it was gonna be one more chapter but I just like, feel like I need a third so ughhh yea.
> 
> Also I just wanted to say thank you for the overwhelming support and positivity I received with this, it took its emotional toll on me to write it and it's definitely made my heart 3x bigger reading your comments I love you guys

When Peter arrives at the compound, he doesn’t expect to see Pepper Potts waiting outside, hands clasped in front of her waist, hair clipped back from her face and grim expression painting her features.

This is it, Peter thinks hopelessly, Tony can’t even tell him himself that he’s done with Peter, he’s sent Pepper to do it. He can’t say he was expecting it, he’d kind of thought that maybe Tony cared about him beyond being just Spider-Man, just his protege, but the woman’s presence could only mean one thing.

He heaves in a breath to prepare himself and lets his fingers curl far too tightly around the sleeves of his sweater, pulling the material taught, knuckles turning white. Tony is his only safe haven, and he’ll never see him again.

Pepper’s expression morphs into a fake smile when Peter climbs out of the car, and he finds himself resenting her for it. A smile won’t make it any better, she may as well just get it over with.

“Hi, Peter,” Her voice is too gentle, too cautious, it sets his nerves on edge. Peter won’t be mean to her though, it’s his own fault this is happening, he won’t blame her for it.

He nods at her, which only makes her smile falter.

“Right,”She murmurs almost to herself, before brightening the smile. “Tony told me you weren’t talking, but I thought that maybe...well, nevermind. It’s good to see you, in any case. You ready to get started?”

Now Peter’s just confused. He’s not getting dumped? He can’t even ask about it, though the confusion must show on his face because Pepper tilts her head in question.

“Tony’s running late today, he didn’t tell you? I figured I could get you settled in the lab and do some of my paperwork while we wait for him.”

Tony hadn’t told him, but he had rejected all four of his attempts at calling Peter earlier today, under the assumption that he was just trying to get him to talk -now Peter feels awful. Tony had just been trying to keep him updated, but he’d refused to answer him, completely ignored him. What kind of a protege was he ?

Pepper reaches out to him, and Peter lets her, she’s not terrifying the way most men are to him now, except for maybe Tony. She’s small, thin, nothing manly about her, he thinks that’s why he leans into the arms she wraps around him. A soft squeeze around his middle a moment later comes as a reassurance, rather than a scare.

“You know, Peter,” She says quietly, so that Happy won’t hear from where he’s standing by the car, “If you ever need to talk, or you just don’t want to be alone, I’m always here.”

Peter blinks away traitorous tears and nods into her shoulder, wondering what he’s done to deserve someone like Pepper Potts in his life. He’s almost certain it has more to do with who he knows, Peter alone would never be worth her time or affection.

...

Skip storms into his bedroom in a rage the second May leaves for work, fury making him look ugly. Peter wonders if anyone else has seen Skip look like this, if anyone else saw evil In his eyes. He thinks that if he could take a picture, if he could show it to someone and ask what they saw, if they’d see it too.

“Why aren’t you talking, Peter?” He asks, tone sharp. He pushes the boy against the wall, holding him there with his chest. Peter imagines what it’d be like to push back, but shoves the thought away and slams the door behind it.

Couldn’t then, shouldn’t now.

He says nothing, just holds his breath, waiting for the next blow. It doesn’t come.

“Really? You won’t even speak to me?” Skips voice has changed to something slicker, something sickly in its false charm. Peter can taste bile on his tongue. “I thought we were close, Einstein? Why are you pushing me away?”

When Peter still doesn’t respond, Skip lets out an exasperated sigh and shakes his head, looking at Peter fondly. “That’s alright, there are other ways to communicate aside from talking.”

Afterwards, Peter curls his blanket around himself as tightly as he can, and wonders what Skip was doing for all of these years, wonders if anybody else has felt his crushing weight and cruel touches.

...

“Peter, please.”

May’s been sitting beside him on the bottom bunk for a while now, a plate in her lap with a sandwich on it, squished flat with extra pickles, his absolute favourite and she made it special for him, but she wants him to talk for it and he can’t trade his secrets for a sandwich.

He just shakes his head again, and May bites her lip and looks away from him, hands shaking, against the rim of the plate. Guilt soars up through Peter’s gut, May has given him everything. A home, kindness, love, compassion - and what is he giving her in return? He’s not hurting her on purpose, he wishes this wasn’t hurting her at all, yet he can’t just open his mouth and ask for the sandwich.

“What am I doing wrong, Peter? Why won’t you talk to me?” It’s not accusing, it’s heartbroken, her voice cracking mid sentence. He can see that her eyes are wet and he just shakes his head again, more vigorously, hoping it comes across as intended; nothing, she’s done nothing wrong, it’s him that’s wrong. He’s wrong and he’s helpless and if he wasn’t such a coward, if he wasn’t so scared of Skip, maybe things would be different.

“I just want to help you, I just...I don’t know what to do. Skip thinks it’s just teenage rebellion but this isn’t you. I know something’s wrong, please...please just tell me what it is so I can fix it.” She begs. He can’t take it anymore, he turns enough that he can shove his face into the crook of her neck and lets the sob tear through his rib cage. He’s a burden, he’s hurting her, she doesn’t deserve this!

May’s hand falls to the back of his head and she holds him tightly, maybe too tightly, to her.

“Oh, Peter. My baby,” She whispers wetly into his hair, “I’m here, it’s okay. I’m here.”

He doesn’t know how to explain that he knows that, that she’s not here all the time though, doesn’t know what’s going on when she leaves, so he just snuggles in tighter and closes his eyes, and if he falls asleep on her, it’s not like she’ll mind.

...

Flash is watching him from across the cafeteria, filling Peter with unease at the thought of what he might do next, when the next taunt will come. He wonders, if Flash touches him, will he freak out enough to somehow make his already rock bottom reputation worse?

MJ drops a juice box down in front of Peter, snapping him out of what has somehow turned into a staring competition with Flash, and he looks up at her, confused.

“It’s apple.” She tells him, not even looking up from where she’s sketching next to him. Next to him? Michelle always sits on the opposite end of the table, even since they’ve established that the three of them are friends. It’s weird, but Peter doesn’t like, hate it or anything, he likes her, she’s nice. It’s been too long so he picks up the box, before looking to her for an explanation. “Apple is your favourite.” She adds after a moment, eyes flicking up briefly, before she goes back to ignoring him.

He does like apple, so he pushes the straw into the top, and brings it to his lips, trying to fight the pleased smile that’s tugging at his lips.

He likes Michelle.

...

Peter lays in the bottom bunk, staring at the screen of his phone where he holds it above his face, open on Tony’s contact. It would be so easy to just press call, to open his mouth and let it all come out, sure, Tony would be disappointed in him, but he’d make Skip go away. Peter knows that much.

He stares for another few minutes before locking the screen and closing his eyes.

...

Tony’s become more tactile since Peter stopped talking, but Peter’s not scared of him. He’s not sure what it is that makes Tony so different to everyone else, but he just knows, he knows Tony would never hurt him. So when Tony brushes past him and rests a hand on his shoulder as he goes, Peter leans into the touch, lets it fill him with warmth. The first thing Tony does when Peter gets to the compound is hug him, and Peter looks forward to it now.

Although it’s not surprising that when Tony comes back from a meeting too quietly, and Peter doesn’t know it’s him, when hands curl up over his shoulders from behind, Peter lets out a harsh gasp and twists away so violently that he ends up on his back on the floor, staring up at Tony with wide eyes, chest tight and fists clenched.

Tony looks utterly baffled, though that expression melts away quickly, replaced with worry and sadness as he slides down to the floor himself and just sits there in front of Peter.

“What happened, kid?” Tony asks, too seriously, and yeah, he’s not an idiot, he’s probably trying to put the pieces together in his mind already and Peter feels sick. He scrambles off the floor and runs, doesn’t stop running until he finds Happy and begs him to drive him home early.

He misses six video calls from Tony during the drive back.

...

He shouldn’t have gone home early, he shouldn’t have freaked out on Tony, he’s really fucked up this time. Happy is worried enough to walk him to the apartment door, which really, really sucks considering Peter had been planning to just wait around the corner until May got home.

“You gonna be alright?” Happy asks, and Peter blinks, surprised, before realising Happy means ‘after your colossal freak out’ and not ‘being alone in there with Skip’ so Peter just nods, cheeks flushing a bit. He wonders what Happy would say if he knew about Skip, wonders if he would even care. No, that isn’t fair, Happy’s just prickly, but he thinks that they’re like, almost friends?

Maybe one day, anyway.

...

May’s chopping vegetables for dinner while Skip makes a trip to pick up some meat for the roast (May had forgot, it’s not her fault, she has a lot to deal with) and Peter thinks about how he could just walk right up to her and tell her.

Instead he cushions his cheek on his palm, elbow resting on the table, and says nothing.

...

He can’t get changed in gym class, so he stares Coach Wilson down until he gets sent to the principal.

...

He spends an hour after Skip leaves just crying, silently of course - if Skip or May heard him that would be bad, so he just hugs his pillows and tries to get himself together. He can still feel Skip’s hands and hear his voice and Peter kind of wishes he’d stayed dead after Thanos.

He hasn’t put the suit on in three weeks, but he’s screwed things up with Tony and maybe Karen can calm him down, so he takes off his clothes, the ones he’d only just put back on, and pulls on the suit. Watching it come to life is like remembering that Spider-Man is real, that he’s not just some fake hero Peter made up in his mind to protect him from Skip. He’s real. He climbs out the window to settle on the roof.

“Hello, Peter.”

“Hi, Karen.” His voice is rough from disuse, but it feels good to talk. Feels like the band around his chest loosens slightly, just enough to let him take in a breath. He rubs his forehead through the mask. “Could you help me with something, if I asked you not to tell Mr. Stark?”

“Peter, I have certain protocols, but as long as you aren’t in immediate danger or abusing substances, I can keep it to myself. Is something wrong, Peter?” Her voice is soft and kind and Peter needs that, needs someone to comfort him about this, even if it is an AI.

“Yes.” He doesn’t really know where to start, so he just stops at that, wincing.

“Has this got anything to do with how you’re sexually active, now?”

Peter gags and has to lift the bottom of the mask in case he throws up. He vaguely hears Karen’s reassuring voice, though it takes him a while to focus on it.

“How did you...how did you know that?”

“I monitor all of your vitals and do a scan every time you put on this suit, Peter. It’s just for safety, I’m sorry if it’s intrusive.”

So, she scanned him, and just concluded that he was having consensual sex? That’s not, it’s not like that, he doesn’t want her to think that, he didn’t want it he didn’t-

“Peter?”

“Karen, he...I didn’t want to, I don’t want to, he keeps touching me-“ he chokes on a sob and shakes his head, going to rub at his eyes before remembering they’re covered by the mask, instead pushing the heels of his palms flat against the eyes of the mask.

“Has somebody assualted you, Peter?” Karen’s voice is so, so soft, and it’s exactly what Peter needs for the dam to break, and he tells her everything. Every single detail, and she listens, only interrupting to tell him off for blaming himself, and when it’s done, she just says, sounding so distraught,

“Oh, Peter.” There’s a long pause, and then Karen sighs. “I’ve run all possible scenarios from this point and I’ve concluded that you are in fact in immediate danger. Contacting Mr. Stark is the next point from here. I am sorry Peter, but you need help from an adult.”

“You’re an adult!” Peter tries, except he can’t ignore the fact that part of him wants this, wants Karen to tell Tony, wants someone to help him so badly it hurts.

“Not in the ways that are relevant to this situation, Peter. Do you want me to stay with you for a while longer?”

Peter lets out a huff of air and pulls his knees up to his chest.

“Yeah, Karen, that would be nice.”

“Of course, Peter.”

...

He’s curled up in bed half an hour later when his phone rings, a video call from Tony, and he feels a pit swell in his stomach. He’s absolutely terrified of what’s going to happen next. He holds his breath as he swipes to answer, worrying his lower lip between his teeth.

Tony’s face appears on the screen and it looks like he’s been crying, eyes red and puffy, hair in disarray like he’s been running his hands through it, eyes heavy with emotion as he looks at Peter. “God, kid, I’m so sorry.” He says, even sounding wrecked, and Peter’s so confused. He shakes his head, and then remembers there’s nothing to be scared of saying now, Tony already knows.

“It’s okay.” He says quietly, because May and Skip are still out there and he doesn’t want them to hear. “I’m okay.”

Tony’s face twists in disbelief. “You haven’t spoken in two weeks before now. You freaked out when I touched you and you couldn’t see me, your grades are slipping, and there is a grown fucking man hurting you, that’s not okay, Peter! That is so fucking far from okay. Shit.” Tony runs a hand across his face, frustration clear in the movement, and Peter looks away, eyes watering for what must be the millionth time this week.

“I’m sorry. I’m so- I’m so sorry.” Peter whispers, blinking away the tears, “I should have fought him off, I could have, I know that but I didn’t...I keep thinking about, um, that thing that we said,” Peter tries to explain, chest twisting in pain. He doesn’t want to let Tony down, he doesn’t know how to fix this, will Tony ever let him be Spider-Man again after this?

“None of this,” Tony says, suddenly looking furious, and Peter’s eyes widen. “None of this is your fault, Peter, Skip is a sick fuck.”

“But I could’ve-“

“Were you scared, Peter?”

Peter frowns. Of course he was, why would Tony ask him something like that? “Yes.”

“People do things they can’t explain when they’re scared. Some people get so scared they can’t move. It’s still not your fault.”

“But I wanted to hurt him! I wanted to...I wanted to make him stop, but I couldn’t then, so I shouldn’t now, right? Right, Mr. Stark?”

He needs Tony to agree with him, needs some kind of confirmation that he did what was right, because if not... If not, why did he let it happen? 

There’s a sharp intake of breath and then Tony’s looking at him so intensely it makes his heart hurt.

“Has this happened before, Peter?”

This is the part he didn’t tell Karen. This is the part he’s so ashamed of that it makes his head hurt to think about.

“Um,” Is all that comes at first, “Skip first came to stay with us when I was ten, so, um, yeah, it happened then too.”

There’s silence, before Tony repeats, almost brokenly, “Ten.”

“But it’s, it’s alright, because I was okay after that, it’s just that now...now he’s back and it’s worse and...do you ever think how it would’ve been better if I died on Titan?”

“No, fuck that, absolutely not, Peter. May needs you, I need you, just - I’m coming to get you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so for those of you who will probably ask why Tony video called instead of just going to Peter in the first place  
> 1\. Tony is trying to be smart about this, he can't just go in there guns blazing, but he does need to speak to Peter.  
> 2\. Tony's not great with emotionally heavy situations, so hes trying his best okay  
> 3\. He hasn't had to deal with something like this before, he's not sure how to. That said, he will be seeing Peter in person soon so yeah.


	3. One hand on my cheekbone, one hand on the rope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to face the music.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay wow omg it's over, I really hope this is everything you all wanted in a resolution, I'm exhausted but again I wanted to thank all of you for your support and just, thank you for taking this journey with me, I love you all

Tony’s got Peter’s hand tucked delicately in his own, the lightest grip Peter has ever felt, as he guides him through the living room, gently tugging at Peter when the boy falters at the sight of Vision and Wanda sitting on the couch.

“This way, Pete.” Even his voice is too soft, expression too desolate. Peter has to look away, choking on the guilt that’s rising up through his oesophagus. Peter watches as they pass door after door, before stopping in the doorway of Peter’s usual room, where Pepper is changing the sheets. She looks up when Tony clears his throat, and stands up, the sheet snapping back out of place as she lets it go. Her eyebrows pinch together in frustration but when she looks back to Peter it washes away.

“Hey.” Peter murmurs, sounding so much louder in the silence of the room, and Pepper twists her hands together, makes an aborted step forward before reaching up to tuck her loose hair behind her ear.

“It’s...it’s really nice to hear your voice again, Peter.” Her voice is gravelly, thick with emotion, and Peter swallows hard, gaze falling to his feet. This is all his fault, if he’d just stayed quiet...everyone was happy before, he’s never seen Pepper sad before and he doesn’t like it, he hates it, he-

“Pete?”

Tony’s eyes are on him again, and his grip on Peter’s hand tightens just a fraction, and Peter nods, uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry.” It’s all he can think of to say, but Pepper’s already shaking her head,

“No, you don’t have anything to be sorry for. Can I give you a hug, Peter?” It shows on her face that she doesn’t think he’ll say yes, yet there’s a spark of hope in her eyes that Peter doesn’t want to crush. And...he kind of, really, really does want a hug, so much. Pepper’s hugs are always so nice, too, warm and tight and he thinks, sometimes, that she’d make such a good Mom.

“Yes, please, a hug would be-I want-“ Pepper’s arms encircling him cut off his stream of babbling and Tony doesn’t let go of his hand but that’s okay, Peter only needs one arm to hug back. He doesn’t realise how tight he’s holding her, only feels the swarm of bees that is his mind fall silent.

“Sweetheart,” Pepper whispers into his hair, her body trembling, “Sweet boy, I’m so sorry. We’re not going anywhere, we’re right here.” As she speaks, Tony releases his hand to curl his arms around the both of them, his chin settling on the top of Peter’s head and Peter feels so warm, like his insides are burning, but in a strangely pleasant way.

“I love you,” Peter manages to get out, his throat tight and his eyes stinging, he’s not sure which of them he’s talking to, maybe both of them, he reaches his freed hand behind him, barely brushing Tony’s back, but it’s enough, they understand, their arms tighten and he can’t explain it but he feels like maybe they can fix him, can put him back together.

Yeah, he loves both of them.

...

May arrives at the tower at eight am, looking tired and dressed for work, and Peter pretends to be asleep when they come to tell him she’s here, because he knows what comes next. He’s scared of telling her, scared of what she might say, might think. She’ll blame herself and it’s not her fault, it’s his, he just...he wishes she didn’t have to know, but Tony said that she had to, that this couldn’t go on, and he knows that, he does. It’s just really scary.

“Come on kid, I know you’re awake.” Tony sighs as he shifts his weight on the side of the bed, “I know, I know you don’t want to, but once we’re done, we can have ice cream, maybe watch a movie? That weird one you like, the one with the space people.”

Peter chokes on an unexpected laugh, “Star Wars?”

“Sure, kid, whatever, that.” Tony rolls his eyes as Peter rolls over to face him, knowing the gig is up. Their eyes meet and Tony’s gaze is fond, kind, Peter wants to shy away again. He doesn’t deserve to be looked at like that.

“Actually,” Peter takes a deep breath, “Can we...nevermind, it’s dumb. Forget it.” Peter winces, looking away from Tony’s probing gaze.

“No, what is it? Today’s your day, kid, we can do whatever you want.”

“Do you have any Lego Mr. Stark?”

Tony blinks, and then furrows his brows, “Well, no.” He admits, tilting his head, “I can have Happy pick some up, though?”

“Okay, Yeah, Okay,” Peter nods, trying not to seem too eager, “Can we build something? Something with a lot of pieces, they have some Star Wars stuff that’s pretty cool-“

“Star Wars LEGO, lotsa pieces, got it, kid, but you gotta get out of bed first.” Tony holds his hand out and Peter relents, connecting their palms and sitting up, letting himself be pulled along and out of their room. His thoughts are racing a mile a minute, all he can see is May’s face crumpling, he doesn’t want to see that, doesn’t want to be the one to cause it. He can’t do that to her. His feet still in their path and Tony turns to face him, understanding flickering across his face before he lets out a breath and pulls Peter closer, his other arm falling into place on Peter’s shoulder.

“It’s gonna be okay, Pete. You can do this.” He prompts, nodding along with his words and Peter wants to believe him so badly,

“You’ll be there the whole time?”

“Yeah. Of course, always. I’ll always be there.”

Peter hears the double meaning in his words, knows them to be true, can feel that one sentence burning it’s message into his chest.

“Okay.”

...

They’ve been sitting in silence for fifteen minutes before May groans and slumps forward, elbows falling on knees as she leans her body in Peter’s direction.

“Tony said you were talking again,” She says softly, eyes boring holes into him, “Is it me? Do you...do you not want to speak with me here?” Her hands shake as she asks, and Peter shakes his head almost violently, so hard that his neck aches from the force of it.

“No.” He refutes, eyes wide and desperate. “No.”

She seems to deflate at that, nodding, “Alright, honey. That’s good. Do you want to tell me what’s going on, then?”

Peter winces and looks back at Tony, pleading. “Not, um, not really. But I have to. I have to.” He doesn’t know why he’s hoping that Tony will suddenly disagree, but all he gets from his mentor is a head tilt. His head feels like it’s full of cotton and he swallows through his suddenly dry throat.

“You can tell me anything, baby, you know that.” May murmurs encouragingly, reaching over the coffee table between them to link their fingers, squeezing his hand as they make contact.

“You...you won’t like it,” He admits after a moment spent staring at their joined hands, “You might not like me anymore, either.”

Tony makes an affronted noise at that, Peter can practically feel his disagreement from where he’s sitting next to him on the couch. It’s the truth, though, Peter knows, Skip was May’s friend before she ever took Peter in, May likes Skip, if she knew what Peter let Skip do to him-

“I can feel you thinking.” Tony says into the quiet, breaking Peter out of his reverie.

“Sorry.”

May looks between them with concern, a delicate eyebrow lifts. “I could never feel anything but love for you, Peter.”

Peter sucks in a breath too quickly, nearly choking on it. “I don’t...I...Skip...” He can’t do this, he can’t do this, he can’t - “It. I...” He turns his face into Tony’s shoulder, hand dropping from his aunt as he curls away from her, body trembling.

Tony’s hand lands on his back, rubbing gentle circles through his shirt, as Peter shakes his head. “Help me, please, I can’t- please, Dad, help me-“

Tony’s grip on him tightens, Peter listens to his heart beat pick up - Tony’s just as concerned about breaking the news as he is, maybe. Maybe Tony thinks May won’t like him anymore too. Maybe Tony’s only here because he has to be, because Peter’s Spider-Man - No. no, Tony loves him. Tony cares. Those thoughts are wrong and Peter hates them, wishes he could burn them away.

“Listen, May, this is...this is going to be really hard to hear, but it’s not your fault, you didn’t know and you shouldn’t blame yourself.” Tony starts, and Peter squeezes his eyes shut against Tony’s clavicle, wants to disappear, wishes he were anywhere else right now.

“Tony?” May’s voice cracks, the fear audible in her tone.

“It’s about Skip Westcott, and Peter.” Tony begins gently, as his hand slides up to slip through Peter’s hair soothingly, feeling Peter tense against him, “Westcott has been sexually abusing Peter.”

There’s dead silence where all Peter can hear is everyone breathing, until May’s voice breaks the silence, barely a whisper.

“What?”

Tony’s hand falters, but quickly resumes. “Peter told the AI in his suit about it. That’s how I found out. Karen - that’s what he named her, she kept the DNA that she could...”

This is news to Peter and he pulls his head back just enough to look up at Tony in surprise.

“For when you press charges, kid,” Tony explains, before guiding his head back into place against his chest. His attention is back on May in seconds. “It happened often, according to Peter. It...this is going to be the hardest part to hear, and I’m sorry, it started the first time Westcott stayed with you.”

The air is filled with tension, and Peter turns his head just enough to get a peek at May. She’s frozen in place, mouth open and a hand over her mouth, Peter cringes and shuts his eyes again.

He jolts when he feels hands on his cheeks, turning him back to face her, and she’s pushed the coffee table back to squat in front of him. This is it, this is the part where she realises she never should have taken him in, this is the part where she gives up on him, leaves him behind -

“Skip touched you, Peter?”

He screws his eyes shut so tightly he sees stars on the back of his eyelids and nods jerkily, “I didn’t want him to, I promise! I said no, but then...I’m so sorry, I did this, I’m sorry, I...” He doesn’t even register that he’s crying until May’s soft fingers brush the wetness from his cheeks, and then he’s being pulled from Tony into May’s arms. He goes willingly, falling forward into her embrace like his life depends on it.

“No, no, baby. I’m sorry. We’ll fix this, okay? I’ve got you, baby,”

Peter feels his heart swell, his bones settle, and he holds on tight, sobs pulling and tearing at his rib cage, as she holds him.

“I’ve got you.”

...

“Can I stay here? Just for a few days, I just, I don’t want to go home yet,” Peter asks over the sound of R2-D2 beeping on the screen. Tony doesn’t even look up before responding with his agreement, May just rubs Peter’s calf from where she’s sitting at the foot of the couch.

...

The police arrest Skip the next day, and Peter doesn’t know exactly how Tony got that to happen, how there was suddenly ‘overwhelming evidence’, but he doesn’t ask. He feels safe and warm and he doesn’t want to know, doesn’t want to deal with it until he absolutely has to.

...

It’s 3am when Peter wakes up from his nightmare and wanders to the kitchen to get some water, images of Skip on top of him playing under his eyelids like the worlds most fucked up slideshow, and he just, he needs to get out of bed and walk around for a bit. He hears their heartbeats when he’s outside of the arch that leads to the kitchen and pauses, recognising the voices after a moment. He flounders, a stiffness bleeding through his limbs as he listens.

“...needs therapy, Tony, but we can’t afford that.”

“You know I can-“

“I know. And I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t...if things weren’t...”

“Yeah.”

There’s a silence and then Pepper enters the conversation,

“You know, May, Tony and I were wondering if maybe he could stay here every second weekend. We think it would be good for him, but if we’re overstepping-“

“No,”

“Oh, okay, I’m sorry-“

“No no, I mean you’re not overstepping. I think Peter would love that.”

“Oh thank god,”

Peter steps through the arch, the ghost of a smile slipping across his features as he deliberately lets his feet fall heavier as he moves, and speaks louder than he needs to when he says,

“Hey, um, I’m kind of hungry, can I have something to eat please?”

He gets three willing parents scrambling to their feet, enthusiastic in their pursuit to feed him. He’s ushered into the bench stool and May wraps a blanket around his shoulders as Pepper and Tony start grabbing ingredients for pancakes. His smile grows, blinding in its light, warmth and love swirling sweetly in his belly.

...

 

They all protest when Peter says he’s going to school on Monday, their faces overcast and concerned, but Peter just forces a smile and insists, because he wants to see Ned and Michelle, or more specifically, he wants at least one thing to stay the same. He does ask for one thing, just one - a mango juice box to go along with his apple. It earns him a baffled frown from Tony, but he gets it anyway.

All three of them come along in the car to drop him off, and he rolls his eyes and laughs when they ask him again if he’s sure, Tony leaning over the front seat to ruffle his hair. He gets a kiss on the cheek from Pepper and May, wedged in the back seat with him, and slings his backpack over his shoulder as he gets out of the car. 

He walks to home room with purpose, purpose that steadily thrums through his bones, chewing his lower lip as his legs pick up speed. Ten feet, five feet, zero- he’s here. His eyes search out their target, and a grin lights up his face as he passes the desks, getting closer until he can drop the mango juice down.

He waits for the full head of curls to raise, and she glares at him before she notices the juice, still half asleep, and he feels his blood vibrate as he waits for a response, suddenly unsure of his actions, maybe this was weird, maybe he’d put too much significance into it-

“Thank you.” He says after she continues to stare at the juice, her gaze flickers up to him in surprise, her spine straightening. A soft smile grows on her lips and she grabs the straw, tearing the plastic and stabbing the box.

“Anytime, loser.”

The laugh bursts out of him before he can stop it, and then he’s just giggling as he slides into the desk beside her, and sure, his laughter is a touch hysterical, but she doesn’t seem to mind, shaking her head in amusement and slurping her juice.

...

Tony goes with him to the clinic the next day, and it’s uncomfortable and cold and Peter’s shaking out of his skin but it’s okay, it’s okay because he’s not alone.

...

 

Inviting Ned over is something that Peter spends two whole days considering, the logistics of it all, how he’d explain that he and Aunt May are currently (temporarily) living with Tony and Pepper. It all just comes back to how little time he’s spent with Ned, how much he misses his best friend, he’s sure Ned misses him too. So he brings it up tentatively with Pepper, because he knows she’ll be able to help him work through it - He would ask Aunt May, except he gets the feeling that with how much she loves Ned, she wouldn’t be able to be objective about it.

 

In the end, Ned sits at the foot of his bed, gaping at the gaming systems lined up one after another on the entertainment unit, before nodding and holding his hand out to shake. The familiar movements of their secret handshake feel like second nature to Peter, and he gestures to the PS4 afterwards, raising an eyebrow.

“You wanna play something?”

Ned laughs, “Yeah I do! Dude, this is so awesome that Mr. Stark set up all this stuff for you,”

“It’s a bribe. Gotta make sure he comes back,” Tony’s voice breaks in from the doorway, where he’s leaning with a smug smirk. “May wants to know if you boys want snacks.”

There’s a sound of protest from the kitchen and Tony rolls his eyes, “She also wanted me to list the options for you but we have literally everything, just ask and it’s yours.”

“We’re okay, Mr. Stark sir,” Ned says, painfully awkward and formal, and Peter winces in sympathy. Ned’s eyes widen then and he looks back at Peter, “Unless you’re hungry? Are you hungry? I shouldn’t have-“

“Hey man, it’s cool,” Peter interrupts gently, sensing Ned’s rising panic, Ned doesn’t know what exactly happened but he knows it was big and he’s being too careful with Peter every now and then, even going to the extreme of covering Peter’s ears when Flash passed by them between periods in case the other boy said anything mean. It was sweet, he’d meant well, but Peter definitely hadn’t been a fan of that. “I mean, I could eat,” He aims this at Tony.

His mentor doesn’t look the slightest bit surprised. “Good, you didn’t eat much at breakfast. What’ll it be, kid?”

“Uh, like, if it’s okay, I want a sandwich? Could you ask Aunt May to make it, she knows how I-“

“Extra pickles, squashed down flat. I have met you, Pete, y’know?”

Peter’s cheeks flush red, and he ducks his head to hide his smile, “right, Yeah. Thanks, Dad.”

His eyes widen and he opens his mouth, yet nothing comes out. He exchanges an alarmed look with Ned, the other boy just shrugging.

“Anytime, kid,” Tony smiles before the silence gets too awkward, and walks off, though not quick enough to miss Ned’s high pitched squeal of,

“Holy shit, Peter, Tony Stark has basically adopted you!”

...

A month later, he and Aunt May sit at the dinner table, Thai takeout spread basically all over the space between them. Peter can’t stop thinking about how much things have changed, he thinks about Ned and MJ, about Tony and Pepper and May, his friends and family, and his chest fills with warmth and his heart almost hurts from how much love he feels. He’s still having nightmares, he still gets scared when he turns the key in the apartment door that Skip will be waiting, and there’s the trial and everything else ahead. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be really, truly free of Skip, but...but he can learn to live with that. He can live with these thoughts and feelings because he has people who love him, people who would protect him.

“You still with me, honey?”

Peter’s head snaps up from where he’d been staring way too intensely at his dinner, and hastily nods. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, just thinking.” He explains with a shrug and a crooked grin.

“About what? Must be important, you’re barely eating,” May quirks a brow at him, waving her fork between Peter and his plate playfully.

“Oh, well, y’know, I also had a big lunch. At school. Cause uh...” Peter scrunches up his face, realising how completely dumb he must sound, “...That’s where the lunch is.” He doesn’t tell her about how MJ and Ned stuff extra snacks into his backpack now, how they’ll hide food in the back corner of his locker, or in one case, glue them to the underside of his desk.

May’s lips quirk in a wry grin, “No way, they feed you there?”

“Ha, ha.” Peter rolls his eyes as his cheeks redden.

“What were you thinking about, Pete?”

“Just...just thinking about how I think that I might be,” He pauses, shrugs a shoulder, “Happy, I’m, Yeah, I’m happy.”

May’s eyes are bright as she reaches out and places a hand over his, and he drops his fork to turn his hand over and hold on tight.

“Hey,” She leans in close, whispering conspiratorially, “I larb you.”

“I larb you too.”


End file.
